


An Old-Fashioned Correspondence

by justbygrace



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-13 21:11:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3396467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justbygrace/pseuds/justbygrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Rival Professors AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Old-Fashioned Correspondence

To: Tyler.R@badwolf.edu  
Dear Ma'am,  
Seceding from this contest would be in your best interests as I have received the award in question for the last five years. A newcomer, such as yourself, to the world of Science has no hope of dethroning me. I am only sending this to save you some humiliation in the long run in the eyes of your students and faculty.

~Professor John Smith, Physics, Five Time Winner of the Scholarly Merit Award

To: DoctorSmith.10@TARDIS.edu  
Dear Sir,  
I could barely contain my tears of laughter at your pompous note. I may be new to teaching Physics, but I have some tricks up my sleeve I'm sure haven't ever crossed your ancient desk. If I were you, I would worry less about any potential humiliation on my part and more about covering your own arse.

~Professor Rose Tyler, Physics, Setter of Physics Records at my University

To: Tyler.R@badwolf.edu  
Dear Miss Tyler,  
I am not, as your note so clearly suggested, a mere relic, and I can't believe you would suggest such a thing. I am hardly past a quarter of a century and they haven't learned that many tricks since I graduated. I was merely trying to offer some friendly advice, one scholar to another, but I see where I am not wanted.

~Professor John Smith, Physics, They still talk about my scores at my University

To: DoctorSmith.10@TARDIS.edu  
Dear Mr Smith,  
For your information, you used the word "I" in your note no less than seven times in your three sentence letter - your claims of "friendly advice" is as hilarious as it is appalling. I am sorry if my references to your age offended your delicate sensibilities, I didn't have your birth certificate on hand. If you care to pull up the latest scores, you'll notice my students passed their first exams with flying colors, while yours managed to scrape by with a merely passing average.

~Professor Rose Tyler, Physics, If you need some tutoring help, I'm available on Tuesdays between 3 & 5 pm.

To: Tyler.R@badwolf.edu  
Dear Miss Tyler,  
My students are doing just fine, thank you, and so am I, everyone has a bad test every now and then. We'll be taking back top spot by the next exams. Coming out of the gate strong is frowned upon in all arenas, you'll tire yourself out before the race has hardly begun. This is not friendly advice (since you apparently don't care for that), it is merely an observation.

~Professor John Smith, Physics, I went to school for eleven years for that Doctorate

To: DoctorSmith.10@TARDIS.edu  
Dear Mr Smith,  
I wish you all the luck in overtaking my scores, I just received word that my student's scores were top in the country - they'll be hard to beat. Perhaps if you spent a bit more time working on the basics and less time in trying to disprove the classics, your students will be better prepared for the exams. Your observation is timely considering as I am off to run the London marathon this weekend, I'll be sure to keep it in mind. 

~Professor Rose Tyler, Physics, I'll start calling you Doctor when you stop calling me "Miss"

To: Tyler.R@badwolf.edu  
Dear Professor Tyler,  
Just because the classics gave us the basics doesn't mean they weren't wrong - never meet your idols, they'll disappoint you - I try to teach my students to think for themselves, you may want to do the same, it will help them prepare for the year end exams. I watched the London Marathon on telly this weekend, but since I do not know what you look like, I did not see you. You have a startlingly small online footprint, you do know this is the 21st century, correct? 

~Professor John Smith, Physics, We totally kicked your arses in cricket Saturday last

To: DoctorSmith.10@TARDIS.edu  
Dear Doctor Smith,  
"You do know this is the 21st century, correct" says the man whose email address includes ".10"...what is this primary school? Social media is distracting, plus nothing says professional like Internet photos of you chugging alcohol at your freshman frat party - what on earth was on your head?! My students do think for themselves, just this past week one of them may have worked out a solution to the Horizon Problem.

~Professor Rose Tyler, Physics, Hopefully you've ditched that multi-colored coat, that thing is hideous

To: Tyler.R@badwolf.edu  
Dear Prof Tyler,  
I am not the first Doctor Smith to ever teach at TARDIS, thus the ".10" - it isn't my fault my name is generic. And where did you unearth that photo? I told Jack to take it down! My multi-colored coat is not hideous it is a thing of beauty and I can't believe you would criticize it! I don't have occasion to wear it as much anymore, TARDIS has cracked down on faculty dress code, unfortunately. Also I'll believe your student solved the Horizon Problem when I see it on the nightly news.

~Professor John Smith, Physics, Mid-Terms are next week, try not to stress yourself out

To: DoctorSmith.10@TARDIS.edu  
Dear Doctor,  
The Internet is forever, didn't anyone ever tell you? Also by Jack do you mean Captain Jack Harkness (not a wild guess, he shows up in at least 50% of your more risque photos)? Thank god for small favors, like uni dress codes, the multi-colored scarf is at least pretty, that coat is...not. Also celery, really? Whose idea was that? Mid-Terms are today; I have been quite relaxed all day and I hope you are as well, my students are well prepared.

~Professor Rose Tyler, Physics, Christmas in London is better than Christmas in Scotland

To: Tyler.R@badwolf.edu  
Dear R,  
Hastily typing this on the train back to uni (from London, not Scotland, where did you get the idea I was from Scotland?). Just saw the results - sorry about your student's results, I am holding a moment of silence for your pain. 

~Professor John Smith, Physics, How do you know Jack?

To: DoctorSmith.10@TARDIS.edu  
Dear Doctor,  
Your moment of silence wasn't necessary, I anticipate and expect temporary setbacks, you'll notice we're still leading the scoreboard. I know Jack because he's my cousin, why do you ask? Also you have an awful lot of photos in front of Scottish landmarks for not actually being Scottish - are you certain you aren't adopted and are secretly trying to make it back to the motherland?

~Professor Rose Tyler, Physics, Don't strain yourself trying to compete with perfection

To: Tyler.R@badwolf.edu  
Dear Rose,  
Jack is your cousin? I know for a fact he has never mentioned you and when I asked him just last evening about you he just shrugged. Are you quite certain _you_ aren't adopted and your family is just too afraid to tell you? Jack has been my friend for years and he's never mentioned cousins in general, or you in particular, and he tells me almost everything. Your picture is also strangely absent from BWU's faculty page - are you allergic to cameras as well as to social media? 

~Professor John Smith, Physics, I feel like Internet stalking ought to go two ways

To: DoctorSmith.10@TARDIS.edu  
Doctor,  
Your message was quite taken with Jack, should I be offering congratulations? And, more importantly, have you told Ianto? Of course Jack is my cousin! Ask him about nearly stealing a World War II barrage balloon when we were young, he'll crack a smile, I guarantee it. I am not allergic to cameras, BWU is notoriously slow about updating faculty photos - did you see Prof van Statten? His picture is from fifteen years ago! The fact that I know all of this info about you just from a little Internet research (not stalking, ta) and you know next to nothing about me merely strengthens my resolve to not involve myself in social media.

~Professor Rose Tyler, Physics, The next exams are coming up, prepare yourself for defeat

To: Tyler.R@badwolf.edu  
Rose,  
I am not interested in a relationship with Jack! Where did you get such an idea? Was it from him? He finally admitted to being related to you, but only under threats of danger to his personage. Why does he not like to admit to being your relation? Are there family secrets I should know? Intrigue? Danger? Murder? I would like to know more about the WWII barrage balloon though, Jack was resolutely mute on that subject. You are awfully adept at Internet "research," do share your secret.

~Professor John Smith, Physics, Did you see the exam postings, by chance?

To: DoctorSmith.10@TARDIS.edu  
Doctor,  
This was a rough semester for my students, the winter is causing quite a few of them to be out with the flu, but our high average from the beginning will help us nicely with the final results - starting strong really does have its benefits, you know. My conscious has prevailed and I must confess that the freshman frat photo was sent to me direct from Jack right after the event - he wanted me to see his new roommate, but the rest of the research is with the help of my trusty sidekick Google, you really ought to try it out sometime - it's truly a revolutionary invention.

~Professor Rose Tyler, Physics, Jack says to tell you you sound jealous, of what he won't say

To: Tyler.R@badwolf.edu  
Rose,  
You tell Jack that...you know what, never mind, I shall tell him myself - it's quite lengthy and best delivered in person. I can't believe he would send you that photo direct; it's a clear violation of roommate privilege. It's a poor workman who blames their tools just as it is a poor professor who blames her students, if you check the standings you will note my class is firmly in the top position.

~Professor John Smith, Physics, Google doesn't know who you are either

To: DoctorSmith.10@TARDIS.edu  
Doctor,  
As long as we're quoting inspirational sayings: don't count your chickens before they hatch, don't cross a bridge before you get to it - shall I go on? There are only three more weeks of the year and my students are healthier and smarter than ever, I haven't handed out anything less than a 98% in weeks. Jack says you waxed eloquent for thirty minutes about all sorts of things, but he didn't listen because you wore a blue striped suit that made your arse look good - his words, not mine, I've never seen your arse in person so I can't comment. 

~Professor Rose Tyler, Physics, Wicked storm last night, I thought my windows would shatter for sure

To: Tyler.R@badwolf.edu  
Rose,  
Perhaps you ought to take your own advice and not count things that haven't happened - my students have aced everything they've turned in. Jack is a rude fellow and sometimes I can't believe I'm friends with him, though he does make a great mixed drink he calls hypervodka, have you tried it? Knocks me out flat and I can usually drink him under the table. I hope your students are studying hard and that the constant storms aren't keeping you up, I wouldn't want to beat you unfairly.

~Professor John Smith, Physics, Did you want to see my arse in person?

To: DoctorSmith.10@TARDIS.edu  
Doctor,  
Once final exams are done, how about the loser will buy the winner a drink? If we go to Torchwood, Jack can mix up his hypervodka and we can see who can hold their alcohol better. Must go, there is rain slashing in my bedroom window and the repairman is on his way. 

~Professor Rose Tyler, Physics, Exams tomorrow! My students are so ready

To: Tyler.R@badwolf.edu  
My Dear Rose,  
While I am still nurturing a wounded pride, that thing you do with your tongue helped to assuage it nicely. I can't believe Jack has been holding out on me by not introducing us years ago - he's lucky I wasn't paying him more attention last night. I have half a mind to go punch him now, but you are sleeping on my left leg and I don't want to disturb you. Per request I have sent a glowing letter to the Board and it will appear when they publish your award. My students will be disappointed, but I could not have lost to a better (or more beautiful) opponent. Oh, you're waking up, I'll send this now and prepare to fulfill the rest of the terms of our newly established bet.

~Professor John Smith, Physics, No Longer the Holder of a Scholarly Merit Award, but the Holder of Something Much Better


End file.
